Occupational hazards

I may not have to stand on my feet all day or do any hard labor, but my job has it's fair share of hazards. Here are just a few:


Constantly finding social injustices to be pissed off about. People suffer. Life sucks a lot of the time. And, I think/read/write about these things almost on a daily basis.

Students. They are often such an inspiration. However, sometimes they are just beasts when they complain about doing work or having to take notes for themselves ("what?! you're not going to spoon-feed me everything I need to know?") or when you call them out on cheating/plagiarism or when you give them anything less than an A.

Intra- (or inter-) departmental drama. So-and-so is sleeping with/dating so-and-so and everyone thinks they need to know/talk about it.

Paper-cuts. (Hey, they hurt.)

Food from the Blue Truck. Beware! (the taco salad got me one too many times...)

A fat ass. Academics are not known to be the svelte fitness-savvy professionals that are often found in other professions. (How many hot professors can you think of?) You sit on your ass all day writing/reading/analyzing data/etc. and that leaves very little time to do anything physical. Weight gain is a definite likelihood without targeted interventions.

Advisor(s)/professors constantly harassing you about what you have/haven't done.

Socially inept or otherwise anti-social academic colleagues. If you're here, you're a nerd. And, most nerds aren't particularly good at things like forming complete/coherent sentences, shooting the shit, or making you feel even remotely comfortable in social situations.

Staring at a computer for 12+ hours a day until you can barely see.

Constant negative feedback. Scientists are trained to find the holes or flaws in everything they see, so positive feedback is often few and far between. The challenge is to find people who temper their critiques with some positive reinforcement as well. This hazard can be particularly painful since most people consider their work (i.e., papers/ideas/presentations/etc.) to be a part of themselves. So, when you get negative feedback, it's not like someone's saying "hey you, the widgets you're producing aren't up to par." Instead, it's like they're saying "your ideas suck; therefore, you are a worthless piece of shit. Try not being a complete moron and waste of space next time." Ok, this might be a bit dramatic, but that's at least how it feels sometimes.