Thursday, August 2, 2007

More evidence for the "Man Card"




In response to one of my earlier blogs entitled "What, exactly, is the "Man Card?," some of you seemed to be in disbelief that such a card exists. Well, I'm hot on the trail of more evidence that the "Man Card" does exist...

This past weekend while quenching my thirst, I had one of those random conversations with a stranger that can only happen at a bar. I was at a local watering hole and came out of the restroom to find that there was a line for the men's bathroom. No, really. There was a line for the men's bathroom---I know, I've always thought that was an urban legend. At any rate, one of the guys in line started up some conversation with me about how the picture of Nathan Hale on the wall looked like David Bowie (random, I know). After the conversation went nowhere (cuz, really...where could that conversation go?), I said..."You know, there's no one in the women's bathroom. Why don't one of you just go in there?" (It was a single bathroom, so there would be no danger of having to see other women in there.) The guy looked at me, sort of appalled, and said, "No. Then I'd have to give up my "Man Card."

This conversation leads me to believe that the "Man Card" does, in fact, exist...despite the fact that some of you have been trying to dissuade me. Of course no one handed you a card at birth (after noticing you were lucky enough to get a penis), which you tote with you in your wallet. But, the "Man Card" does seem to exist, at least proverbially speaking. Really, the idea of a "Man Card" is sort of
humorous.

But, at a deeper level, the idea is actually kind of intriguing and tells a lot about how we define masculinity. If a "Man Card" does exist, what does it indicate? Does it mean that the owner is aggressive, tough, and independent? Is he the alpha-male type who shoots first and asks questions later? According to the card above, he definitely cannot be a "metrosexual." There seems to be such a strict definition of masculinity in our society, that it would seem sort of difficult to even keep a "Man Card." What my minimal knowledge of the "Man Card" does seem to tell me, however, is that the "Man Card" is actually more useful in keeping men "in line" than in denoting who is a man and who is a woman. That is, the 2 times that I've run into references to the "Man Card" have been in situations where men tried to step outside of some masculine boundaries or parameters. The first one, if you recall, referred to taking away a guy's "Man Card" if he changed his last name when he got married, and the second one referred to a guy using a ladies' bathroom. It seems that guys are in danger of losing this precious identification if they even think about doing anything outside of modern definitions of masculinity. You know...like challenging patriarchal customs or entering spaces reserved for or dominated by women. Really, you're in danger of losing the "Man Card" whenever you do anything that remotely makes you--Gasp!--more like a woman.

Basically it seems that the "Man Card" is symbolic of things social scientists have known for awhile: social constructions of masculinity are narrow and restrictive. They probably harm men more than they help them, and in some ways, they are far more restrictive than social constructions of femininity. There doesn't seem to be a "Woman Card," and if there was one, I doubt someone would threaten to take it away if I peed in a men's bathroom. After all this mental work, I guess I've realized that the "Man Card" may not be that powerful after all. Sure, it's handy when you try to get jobs and earn a living and run for public office and get married, etc., etc., but it seems to just be another social mechanism to keep you confined to very narrow ideas of what it means to be a man. Besides, even if I could get a "Man Card," I'm not sure I would even want one. If all it takes is me going into the opposite-sex's restroom when there's a line for mine to get it revoked, then maybe the "Man Card" isn't all it's cracked up to be after all. But, then again, I think I knew that all along.